Reflections From My Honeymoon…
The second day of our honeymoon in Jamaica, I asked my husband to snap a picture of me on the beach.
I posted the photo on social media with a caption that said, “This might look like your basic girl on a beach in a bikini post. But before you roll your eyes- this photo means SO much more to me.”
My journey began as an overweight kid. At 8 years old, I would cry to my Mom that I was fat. I struggled with my body image & yo-yo dieting from that point on. I know I’m not alone in this, and at so many points it was nearly debilitating and always shameful... something that a little girl and young woman should never have to feel.
At 31 years old, my honeymoon this past May was honestly the VERY first time in my life I’ve gone on a vacation and truly felt at home and confident in my own skin.
Having my husband snap a photo of me and actually LIKING it- the FIRST one he took even- (in the past I’d make him take like 15, and would still be unhappy with all of them) that was completely unheard of for me.
It was mind blowing to me that I could trounce around in skimpy swim bottoms with my butt cheeks peeking out and feel comfortable in my body. Seriously MIND BLOWING
As if that wasn’t great enough, I consumed far more sweet, sugary frozen cocktails than any human being should ever have in a week… plus pizza, pasta, bread. You name it, I probably ate or drank it… And I didn’t feel one bit guilty about it! And my body supported me. It processed these foods with ease, and when I returned home from the trip, I didn’t feel like there was any “damage” done. Not one bit.
This happy, healthy, balanced place I’m in is truly the polar opposite of where I used to be not so long ago.
I can’t tell you how many vacations and beach days have been ruined by my insecurities…
How many moments of my precious life have been wasted on feeling sh*tty about my body, and obsessing over food…
Even when I was competing & fitness modeling- heck, even on the DAY OF a competition, after working SO hard, I would be quietly criticizing and hating my body.
Standing there on 7-mile Beach, I couldn’t help but to appreciate how amazing it felt to be in such a good place with my body after so many years of being at war with it.
This feeling of self-love and BODY LOVE is actually not about a weight, a size, a shape, or a look.
After all, I’ve been thinner and leaner. I’ve seen way smaller numbers on that scale. And guess what? It didn’t change anything for me.
And that’s because love for yourself and your body is actually not about the external at all. It comes from within.
I wish every woman could feel this way because I know the anguish of NOT feeling it. I know years, hell, DECADES of that body shaming, self-loathing sh*t. I know it’s not pretty.
My advice to every woman (or man) reading this?
Don’t miss out on so much of your life worrying about weighing less. Life is too short… too precious.
The happy, wonderful place I’m in now, after so many years struggling, THIS was the inspiration behind my online course, which I named, Battle To Balance.
The mission behind this program is to help you END the war on food and find your happy, healthy, sustainable balance.
I want you to find peace in your body while reaching your goals, because once you do, life will never be the same.